GIRL ONLINE by Zoe Sugg 1/5

1 out of 5 stars

Similar post in goodreads here.

My thoughts on the ghost-writing scandal:

I feel like I need to explain where I'm coming from. My rating is not based on the "scandal" surrounding this book. Apparently, this book was ghostwritten by Siobhan Curham. It was a massive disappointment since Zoe had maintained that she had written her book, "with help", and that this book had broken all sorts of sales records. Some of Zoe Sugg's fans (followers of her YouTube channel, Zoella) did not appreciate that they were lied to when Penguin refuses to confirm that Zoe Sugg had written the book entirely by herself.

A few things to remember with getting "help": all authors, veterans or newbies, get a lot of "help" with their books. There are editors and what-not whose sole job to make the book ready for printing. That is all standard. Based on all info in the web, it appears that Ms. Sugg's case is different because she appears to have gotten MORE help than usual, in that, most of the book had been written by Ms. Curham.

I found this very believable because I write both academical work and fanfiction. When I'm writing, I don't eat, I don't sleep, I forget everything but what I'm writing. My walls are littered with post-its where scenes are written. My browser automatically opens all relevant sources and have an excel files listing all off line sources. If I write about helicopters, I spend a good 4 hours learning about them and choosing the right one. Basically, I live only for what I'm writing for days on end. I would give myself a night off after a few days -- but only to sleep! So, I can believe that this was ghost written because, as the acknowledgement reveals, Zoe has worked on it at night and is quite thankful her partner was understanding of it. Unless she lives on 48 hour nights, no way would she have time to write this. Especially because she is a first time writer. Plus, as a newbie, I would have expected multiple emotional episodes from reading editor comments. Could she have merely hidden her writing struggles from viewers? Not likely, because she has been really open about her life. Besides, documenting her experience would have been something her subbies could appreciate.

The disappointing bit is that she has hidden her ghost writer. It may be part of her contract to make sure her fans would buy her book. Honestly, she didn't need to hide it as ghost writers are a common occurrence. Her fans had repeatedly pointed this out and it is true. Plus, her fans emphasized that Zoe had created the plot and the characters. Ah, but see, if she wanted to preserve her integrity, she would have put in "CREATED BY ZOE SUGG, WRITTEN BY SIOBHAN CURHAM". An alternative is "BY ZOE SUGG AND SIOBHAN CURHAM". I like the first one better though and I bet fans would appreciate it more. Then, post a whole bunch of photos of her and Ms. Curham around locations in the book. In the book, she could have photo of her and her writer. Money-wise, it would have made more money because she could serialize her story like Sweet Valley. There are so many things she could have done to make this transparent.

*Sigh* The most disappointing bit for me is that she would have empowered a lot more young girls, her demographic, by being humble and admitting that she couldn't write this on her own and that it's ok to admit that. Instead, she's giving the idea that it's that easy to write a book. Coz Zoe could do it and she did it really well, without the effort that all writers put in, without the training most writers have. So, training and educating yourself is not really needed. That's not a good message to send. I feel great sadness for writers who don't have YouTube channels. Why don't they make their own YouTube channel? Because their lives are solely their writing, they don't have time to do anything else. Writing is a lifestyle. It's not something you do on the side, after a long day. It is your day, it is your night, it is your family, it is your friends, it is what makes them feel alive. 

My summary is not entirely without spoilers:

SPOILER ALERT

Our main character is a girl named Penelope "Penny" Porter, which has uncannily the same sound as Harry Potter. She is a very clumsy girl who tots around a camera. The camera and the few shots she takes should make us believe that photography is her hobby. But we never hear Penny talk in depth about cameras and photography. Angles and lighting are just a tip of the ice berg. This sets the book, because Penny really doesn't think much of photography or anything else. But that's not true, Penny does think of something constantly, that would be herself. But being self-absorbed is OK because Penny is actually being mistreated by her supposed best friend, Meghan. There's also this Ollie who does one thing to move to plot, and he does it multiple times. Ollie is the most desired man in school and Meghan doesn't like him spending time with Penny. Something like that happens in the first part of the book, which is set in Brighton. Most we know about Brighton is that it is near the beach but we know nothing else about it. Thankfully, Penny's parents are far more interesting with a supportive Dad and a vibrant Mum. I love them. But the saving grace of this book is Elliot. He is the gay best friend who lives next door to Penny. They are so close they have coded knocks, etc. I love Elliot and without him I would have never finished this book. In the end, all the interesting bits happens when Elliot is around. In fact, if this book is about Elliot, I would have added another star.

Anyhow, something devastating happened to Penny. She trips in the school play, and her skirt goes up above her waist revealing her knickers. It had been recorded and posted on social media, YouTube. Penny is 15, underage, and her Dad could very well lawyer up and get it off the net quickly. His course is to talk to the school about it. Penny explains that the school have no control. And, Dad believes her. Did I mention that their next door neighbors are lawyers? Btw, this is the same Dad who encouraged Penny to write her thoughts down to cope with the car accident. Instead of focusing on her already wide interest on photography, writing, of which Penny never showed interest, is the way to go. Dad should stay in the kitchen and Penny should have gone to Mum, who clearly wears the pants in the house. In the end, they decided to take Penny out of the country so she'd forget about the video. 

There's some scenes on her anxiety. I have issues with the description. But I shouldn't say more. I have experienced anxiety attacks and I don't handle it as well as hers. I would have appreciated more description. I mean, Penny could have googled it. And Elliot, who seems to enjoy useless facts, could have explained it too. But no. It's a mysterious thing. It was brought about by a car accident in which Penny nearly doesn't survive. 

The second part of the book happens in New York. Mum and Dad had been hired to do a wedding, it is a work trip. Penny and Elliot tagged along to help. Penny helps to run an errand and is accompanied by love-interest #2, Noah. He is a perfect boy, in all sense. He is sensitive, amiable, good-looking, drives, able to calm Penny down from panic attacks. And, most of all, isn't afraid to go romantic or show emotion to a girl they like. This is insta-love and in a span of a few days, both Noah and Penny seem to think that they are in love and Penny even goes so far as to say that they are soul mates. Even Penny declares that she knows nothing about Noah. She's not afraid of Noah and trusts him completely, immediately. On the other hand, Elliot advises that Penny is taking it too fast. Penny believes that Elliot is jealous. Typical, self absorbed behavior coz clearly Elliot's job in the world is to support her. When Elliot is called back to spend Christmas with his parents, Penny forgets him immediately. Her sole focus becomes Noah, with his perfect sister and granny. He's a Brooklyn Boy so we see a little bit of Brooklyn. We don't see much New York because the narrative solely focuses on insta-love. Sad. 

Eventually, Zoe, erm, I mean Penny goes back to Brighton. All hell breaks loose when she learns that Noah is not who he seems in both a bad and a good way. Penny gets a lot of criticism and even have a lot of her blog follower sare quite disappointed. Aren't we all disappointed that perfect boy is not so perfect. But turns out that he is quite perfect, afterall. And it's all a big misunderstanding. While this is happening, Elliot actually has real world issues. His homophobic Dad had gone too far for his liking and Elliot has decided to run away. But Penny doesn't address that immediately because she is self-absorbed. I cannot stress this enough. She calms Elliot and her parents talk to Elliot's parents. We don't know how Elliot's Dad turns because that's not about Penny so we are not interested at all. We are only interested in Penny. 

It's a happy ending, of course, with a chance for insta-love to blossom. 

END OF SPOILERS

This book is written in first person POV, present tense. That's two of my least favorite things. The tone is very chic-lit more than YA, similar to The Shopaholic Series but without all the adult bits. Actually, The Shopaholic Series is one of my favorites. The tone is light, it is an easy read and the main character is lovable. Her side characters deserve to be in the sidelines because main characters is the most interesting person there. Not Girl Online. Penny is unfortunate in so many ways, including being uninteresting. She has no passion, a hobby that she doesn't talk about (she says her camera is her favorite thing, but she describes it as smaller than professional photographer's camera and nothing else), lives in a place that she doesn't appreciate (except to calm her panic attack), goes to one of the most interesting places in the world that she doesn't explore, etc. I understand that being average is not a sin. But average doesn't mean boring. Being average doesn't mean that you aren't curious about the world. Her lack of interest on her surroundings and the people in her life is really annoying. That's why I gave it 1/5.